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Writers’ Corner: ” Diminishing” by WondieWrites

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diminishing
He looked exactly like I was at his age. It was like me watching me grow again only that I have little control over this version of me, just parental control. This time, he came to beg for his friend to spend the forthcoming holiday us. I was mute, sighed and I remembered my first friend, my childhood friend.
I  took another look at the my son. My father urged me to name him some if not all of my names as he was my first son after three first daughters. I totally rejected the idea, I don’t want him to go through all went through going up,but it seems he’s trading that path, he’s making me watch my life all over again.
“Daddy, daddy, ” my son called me “Can he spend the holidays with us? ” he stressed his question again. Memories of growing up flooded my mind again. Growing up, I was  jovial, open minded and a lover of people,I made friends easily. I grew up in the same neighbourhood as Gabriel,same school through primary and secondary education. We were age mates,perfect friends regardless of the different religion as my family has always been known as devoted Muslims.
Gabriel spends numerous vacation with my family and it was on one of such vacations that led to a disaster in my family – My younger sister became pregnant and Gabriel was the father, he raped her and threatened her not to say a word. His mother sold drugs and he was familiar with them, he gave a lot of them to my sister. My sister lost her life and no one knew what happened except for me after going through her diary, everyone just knew she bleed to death.
“Dad,are you going to deny me of this?” my son said when he was getting fed up of my silence. I bowed my head, this boy knows nothing. What an elder sees sitting down, a young man would climb trees and still not get a glimpse. He knows nothing, he really doesn’t. In fact he might not have been my son had things gone according to plan, I wouldn’t have married his mother and if never married her, this little brat wouldn’t be standing in front ranting not realising what’s in front of him.
Life is a cold world, I don’t know what love feels like, either romantic or friendship. I used to experience it when I was younger and it continued to fade as I grew, and right now I don’t care about love anymore, I just want to live ,my son I’m supposed to love, I’m scared of his future and I feel scared for him instead of loving him. Islamiat was suppose to be his mother if he was to be given birth to at all. I loved Islamiat. But Islamiat was just another point where I lost hope in love and humans.
   I loved Islamiat and she loved me in return so it appeared until she fed me a poison that paralysed my legs and eloped with the Australian visa I just got for me and her. She eloped with a man she introduced to me as the son her mother gave birth to before meeting her father.
   “Daddy! Daddy! Stop all this and answer me. I need a yes from you, please” my son pleaded again. I raised my head up and answered, “No son, your friend can’t spend the holidays with you,” and and rolled my wheelchair forward.
WondieWrites

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